SHOOTOUT SAVE (The Renegades Series Book 6) Page 11

  No response from her had his head spinning. He’d be able to verify she was getting his messages through Dom. He wasn’t stupid; she was ignoring him. I just want to know why. What did I say?

  Kaden: Ali, I miss you, baby. I wanted to give you some space, but I miss us. I’m so very sorry for missing the ultrasound appointment. I had a good reason. I’ll explain everything when I see you. I’m sorry. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.

  There was so much he wanted to say, but it wasn’t right for a man to tell a girl he loved her for the first time over a text message, not even over the phone. That needed to be done face-to-face, and it needed to be special. He just had to figure out how to make that happen.

  After the scare in the recovery room, Kaden didn’t want to leave his mom’s side. She was tired, still not feeling well, and she wanted to rest. He wanted to hover. There was no reason he couldn’t stay while she recuperated.

  But she had insisted that he go home. The doctor said even after a day in the hospital she might still want to sleep, and that was okay. Yet apparently, Kaden’s sitting around her hotel room annoyed her. She claimed she couldn’t rest while he was hovering.

  Kassie argued almost the same thing, suggesting he had better things to do with his time than watch them sleep. Weren’t we supposed to be a united front? Knowing what she knew, he was sure Kassie’s suggestion had more to do with Ali than Mom. Reluctantly, he went home.

  His apartment was too quiet. At least when Dom lived here, the cat was always around. But right now, there was nothing but silence and empty spaces that furniture used to occupy. He wanted her to be here with him. He’d been so busy with his mom and not wanting to stress Ali out, that he had unintentionally pushed her to the back burner. In addition to still not being able to figure out why she was avoiding him.

  He wanted to talk with her the way they used to, and tell her all about his mom. But there was no easy way to tell her that his mom had been diagnosed with cancer. Had gone through surgery and a scary recovery. Especially now that Ali had her own health struggles. Ones that he didn’t want to complicate by stressing her further.

  The days were passing quickly. It had been about two weeks since he’d seen Ali. After his mom’s surgery, the team was on a four-game road trip to the west coast. He texted her any chance he got, and even tried to call, but he received nothing but radio silence from her. He feared more than ever that she’d given up on him. He couldn’t blame her if she had. But I would never give up on her or our baby.

  He knew that Kassie was right, and he needed to show Alison how important she was to him. He needed to tell her that he loved her and that he wanted her here with him, and for them to have a life together. He needed to tell her so she knew he meant it. And if she didn’t want a future with him? He’d just have to convince her that they were meant for each other. That sounded like a challenge. And Kaden never backed away from a challenge.

  He picked up his cell and typed a message asking how she was feeling. He just needed Ali to know that he was thinking about her. He still didn’t know how to explain to her why he’d missed the ultrasound. But it’d have to be face-to-face. Sliding his phone back into his pocket, he went to the kitchen. As he piled snacks onto his plate, he wondered if certain foods set off Ali’s morning sickness. He’d read about that in one of his pregnancy books.

  Flopping down on the couch, he sighed heavily and threw his head against the soft pillow resting behind it. The same worries filled his thoughts again. Why did I just stare at her blankly when she told me? Why didn’t I say I’d be there for her? What is she thinking?

  These questions and more plagued him these last few days. I wonder how far into her first trimester she is. He really didn’t have any idea. He was better than this. Even though his shoulders were heavy with responsibility, he needed to get his head together.

  The thought of moving his mom and sister here hit home a little more now. He could worry less if his mom was close by versus back in Canada. She would be feeling better soon, and it was only a matter of time before she was ready to go home.

  At his mom’s insistence, he’d made plans for this evening. Dom had been showing up here to watch hockey games, using the excuse of too much wedding planning going on at his place for him watch them there in his awesome man-cave. But Kaden suspected Ali was probably there, and she didn’t want Kaden to be.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket with a new message. Pulling it into view, the first thing he saw was his screensaver. It was a selfie of him and Ali at the skating rink. She was beautiful, with her silken blond hair, her soulful blue eyes, and those lips. He missed those lips. He should be kissing those lips, telling her everything was going to be okay.

  He already knew she was what he wanted and what he needed, baby or no baby. She had his heart, and he needed to make this work. But for the first time in his life, he was at a loss about what to do. Kassie had made telling Alison sound so easy.

  The message was from his cousin, checking on how his mom was doing after the surgery. Disappointed that it wasn’t from Ali, and with his sister’s words swimming around in his head, Kaden answered his cousin, and then began to type out a message to Ali, just to touch base and let her know he was thinking about her.

  A loud knock on the door echoed through the hallway. His train of thought interrupted, he put his phone away in his pocket without sending the message, as Dom let himself in.

  “Yo, K-man! I got a six pack when I picked up the pizza.” Helping himself to the kitchen, Dom put the extra beer in the refrigerator. Grabbing a slice right out of the box, he took a bite. With his mouth full he mumbled, “I’m so hungry!”

  Kaden shook his head and carried the pizza box into the living room. His mind was still on Ali. He grabbed his own slice of pizza and before taking a bite, he asked a question that he already knew the answer to. “So, the girls are doing wedding stuff?”

  “Yeah. I can’t tell you what, though. A lot of it is like, top secret. So they say. I just nod and leave them to it. But I can’t imagine what is left to do. It’s almost here. But don’t say that to Hailee! She’s super stressing over everything. I could care less if the day is absolutely perfect or not; the most important thing is that I get to marry her. But, again, don’t tell her that. I learned that the hard way.” Dom shook his head and chuckled.

  “I can only imagine. She’s quite the perfectionist.” Not to mention Hailee was completely stubborn. The wedding was almost here, and he could picture her going nuts over every last detail. Ali was the maid of honor. The thought of Ali made his stomach ache. He missed her. I wonder how she’ll look. Will she have a belly? Will I be able to notice?

  “K-man, you okay? You seem out of it today.”

  “I guess. I have a lot of things on my mind.” He lowered his eyes to the pizza box.

  “Obviously. Want to talk about it?”

  He wanted to yell it from the rooftops that she was having his baby, but it wasn’t his secret to tell. Was it? “On top of all this stuff with my mom, I’m sitting here worrying about Alison.”

  Dom shrugged. “She’s doing okay, man. So no luck getting her to talk to you?”

  Kaden bowed his head with a sigh. “Nope. She won’t answer my calls. And I keep texting her, if for no other reason, to let her know I’m thinking about her.”

  “Hailee has this crazy idea that if not before the wedding, then by the end of the night you two will be back to normal. What can I say, she’s a hopeless romantic.”

  “Oh, you mean like you?” Dom had always been the guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, especially when it came to Hailee. Kaden should take a leaf out of Dom’s book.

  Dom shrugged and grinned before taking another slice of pizza.

  “Has Ali been over at your house a lot?” Now Kaden was just fishing for info. Dom hadn’t said too much about Ali lately, not around him at least.

  “Yeah. She’s always over.” Dom focused on him as he answered. “Kaden, I think she misses you. Sh
e’s just not herself lately.”

  Moving his glance to his phone, Kaden tried to keep his feelings hidden. That had proved difficult as of late. “Things are… You know, man… With so much going on, and Alison so sick and stressed, things have been weird.”

  “So I’ve noticed.” Dom no longer watched Kaden, turning his attention to the television.

  When it came to Ali, he was drowning and he needed help, and needed it fast. The way he was handling this—always afraid of saying or texting the wrong thing, and focusing on his mom instead—was not helping, and instead he was causing things with Ali to spiral downhill quickly. Was time running out to fix things? He couldn’t stop the words as they fell out of his mouth. “She’s pregnant.”

  Dom’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t even look away from the television at first. “It’s about damn time.”

  Kaden’s head spun with confusion as the hot bite of pizza he just took slid down his throat like a jagged stone. “What? About time for what?”

  “Time that you told me.”

  “What the hell, dude? You knew?” Alison had told Dom? I can’t get more than a few words out of her lately.

  “Yeah. I’ve known for about a week—only because of how she was acting. At first I thought maybe she had the flu or food poisoning, but shortly after being sick she’d be eating some junk food with Hailee. The greasier the better, it seemed. And of course, she’s not drinking alcohol.” He nodded wisely, and pointed a finger at Kaden. “That right there was like a big flashing neon sign, especially when those two get together. So, after observing the odd behavior, I asked Hailee what the deal was, and she begrudgingly told me. But I’m sworn to secrecy. We’re bros—how could you not tell me, man? You’re going to be a daddy! That’s some fucking awesome news!” Dom clapped him on the shoulder.

  Kaden shrugged. “It wasn’t my news to tell. Things have been weird since she told me and we just don’t seem to be connecting like we used to.”

  “Yeah, I get it. It was a surprise, and that can make things more difficult. But it is pretty awesome. How are you holding up with so much going on?”

  “I’m a mess. When she told me, I was in such disbelief that I didn’t say anything. At all. Nothing. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t do it on purpose; I think I was having a panic attack or something, dude. But I fucked up. I asked if she was going to keep it, hoping that was her plan. She took offense, even though I didn’t mean it like that.” The knot returned to the pit of his stomach. “We just seem to be miscommunicating or something. Every time we get a chance to talk I say something that fucks everything up, and I don’t even know what I’m saying wrong!”

  “I haven’t heard about this yet. What did you do now?” Dom snickered, amused at his messed up relationship.

  “I thought I was saying the right thing by telling her I wanted us to be a family. I really don’t know why that pissed her off, but it did. I’m missing something, obviously. I’m such an ass.”

  “Yeah, you kind of are. But it makes sense. You were in shock. Who wouldn’t be? Having a baby must be scary.” His attention was again not on Kaden but on the television.

  “I’m not scared. I’m… I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” Kaden sighed. Squaring off his shoulders, he took a deep breath. I don’t whine about my feelings like a little girl. “And now with my mom’s health issues, I’m just making a giant mess out of it all.”

  “How did your mom react to becoming a grandma?”

  Lowering his voice, he answered. “I haven’t told her.”

  “Why not?”

  “Isn’t it too early? What if Ali doesn’t want me telling yet?” He had what he thought was good reasoning. “The pregnancy books say some people wait until week twelve to go telling everyone.”

  “Look, K-man, I know you don’t think you’re ready.”

  Kaden downed another beer and crushed the can on the table. “It’s not that, it really isn’t. I wasn’t planning on a family yet, but it’s the cards I’ve been dealt. And I only want to be with Ali, so this is just the next logical step for us. If she feels the same way. I’ve just got so much going on right now. My mom needs to concentrate on getting healthy first. Not be worrying about this. That’s really why I haven’t confided in her yet.” But would she fight even harder, knowing she had a grandchild on the way?

  “First of all, I bet your mom will be fine. Didn’t the doc say the surgery was a success, that he got all the cancer and he didn’t expect any new occurrences? Secondly, does Ali know about your mom?”

  “Nah.”

  All of Dom’s attention was now on Kaden. “Dude, what the hell? You need to tell Ali!”

  “I don’t want her all stressed out; that isn’t good for her pregnancy.”

  “Are you sure about that? I mean, you have been MIA lately. What does she think you’ve been doing?”

  “Probably nothing good… I really don’t want to talk about this now.” Not telling Ali was his way of protecting her. In every book he’d read so far it said stress was bad for her and the baby. I would never do anything to hurt either of them. His mind started to wander at the thought of the baby.

  Even deep in his haze, he heard Dom say, “You know my sisters have kids. You’d be surprised how fast nine months will go. Don’t you want to be there? Bro, she misses you more than you think. Keep trying to get through to her, and I believe she’ll come around. But you should tell your mom. She would want to know.”

  “I wanted to wait and see what the outcome with my mom was before I told Ali. They haven’t even met yet, and this could add a whole other layer of stress to the meeting, and neither of them needs the stress.” It made sense to him. Even if his mom was now on the road to recovery. He didn’t know if she’d be needing chemo or what the next steps were. But, it was nothing that Ali needed to worry about.

  “Speaking of your mom, why don’t you invite her and your sister to the wedding? If they’re going to be here, we’d love to have them. After all, they’re like family to me, too,” Dom suggested. “If she’s feeling up to it.”

  Kaden and Dom had grown up not far from one another and had played together when they were young. Dom had spent time with Kaden’s family and vice versa. It would only make sense for Kaden’s mom and Kassie to be at the wedding.

  “I’ll definitely pass on the invite.” Dom and Hailee’s big day was coming up soon. Maybe Mom and Kassie would come to the wedding, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about not being with his mom for the entire day. If he knew his mom, and he did, as soon as she was cleared to go home, she would. With his dad gone, he needed to be her rock while she was still in Pittsburgh.

  “K-man, you need to talk to both of them, Ali and your mom. You do realize that you’re paired up with Alison at the wedding, right?”

  He knew that; he was actually counting on that closeness. If she was simply mad at him because of his reaction, or even if she thought he didn’t care, he should be able to clear that up with one look. If he was lucky, with one kiss. He just needed to figure out a way to make her believe he was ready for this

  * * * *

  “Nice save, Kaden!” Tyler skated by and tapped Kaden on the leg pad with his stick. “Guys! Let’s keep it out of our end and get the heat off of K-man, okay?” He called to the Renegades before climbing onto the bench.

  Holding the puck in his glove, Kaden had no idea how it got there. Ali had been on his mind before he realized that the rush was headed in his direction. He missed the feel of her body and the sexiness of her laugh. He should’ve called her to see how she was feeling this morning. With the game being on the road, he should’ve checked up on her. What if she needed him while he was away? And what about his mom?

  His mind was everywhere that it shouldn’t be. The muffled, almost distant sound around him got louder as it all came into focus. The crowd roared with cheers at his save. One that he’d done completely on instinct.

  After tossing the puck to the ref, he pushed the shaved ice ou
t of his crease, and skated back and forth in the net, trying to stay loose. He needed to be part of this baby’s life. And he needed Ali in his. Nothing was the same without her.

  At the next face-off, the Renegades shot the puck out of their zone and towards Florida’s net. Kaden relaxed a moment, knowing the puck was far enough away from him. Torin was out this shift with Sam, Jaxon and Roman and Pat. Coach was trying out a new line combo.

  Glancing up at the scoreboard, Kaden did his best to follow the puck. Keeping his mind on the game was his biggest challenge currently. Opposite of what Tyler said, he almost preferred the puck in their end. It didn’t give him time to dwell on anything but the game and protecting his net.

  He was sure his mom was watching on television, and hopefully she was having a good day. When talking to her earlier, he thought she seemed tired. He’d planned to stay with her today instead of going on the road with the team. Coach knew the situation with his mom, and would’ve let Dom start tonight. It meant calling up a goalie to fill in, but his mom was sick and needed him.

  But before he could explain his good intentions to her, she had flat-out refused to let him do that. His job was hockey, and the team was counting on him. A good team player didn’t let people down that were counting on him.

  Wasn’t that what he was doing to Ali? Letting her down when she needed to count on him to be there? Even his best intentions didn’t seem like enough.

  Glancing around the stands, he did his normal search for Ali, knowing that since they were in Florida, she wasn’t there. Maybe she was watching too, but that was highly unlikely.

  The goal buzzer woke him from his thoughts. Jaxon had got the goal.

  “Moose!” the team yelled from the bench. Kaden never knew why that was Jaxon’s nickname, but it seemed to fit him. He was tall and thin, yet very strong. ‘Moose’ just worked.

  Kaden’s attention needed to be on the game, but it was hard being away from his mom and Ali. Was I wrong for not introducing the important women in my life yet? Sure, Ali had Hailee, and his mom had Kassie, but they could all keep an eye on each other when he was out of town. Especially if mom stays around.